The Power of Shyness
/By: Seema Miah, Aberdeen, Scotland / Associate Member of Headshots Matter
Let's talk about the power of 'shyness.'
A chat with another photographer recently brought up some old feelings about how I perceive myself. They said they sensed a 'shyness' in my work, and I became rather defensive, saying that I'm not shy. Perhaps it's that I'm quite self-deprecating. I'm not too show-off-y. I prefer to listen more than speak.
And then I realised: that is probably most people's definition of shyness.
When I was younger, I hated it when people said that I was shy or quiet, as it seemed to suggest that it was a negative trait. And it's true that because I was so unsure of myself in those days, that quietness held me back. Mind you, growing up as a British-Bangladeshi kid in 1980s Aberdeen, Scotland, probably made me feel even more unsure of myself, but that's a story for another day!
However, one of the benefits of being older is self-acceptance and the insight we have about ourselves. What we used to see as a weakness in our childhood, we can now view it as a strength. I now know that rather than being 'shy,' I am an introvert, and I understand that this is an asset.
In very basic terms, Introverts are people who generally get energised by being alone, whereas extroverts get their energy from interacting with others. Thanks to the success of books like Susan Cain's Quiet, many of us know that our quietness is a good thing!
© Seema Mia / Aberdeen, Scotland
Here are some of my reasons:
As an introvert, I know how hard it can be for our clients to 'show up' and put ourselves out there.
That understanding means we can quickly praise, encourage and build rapport with our clients. I am grateful a client still comes along for that branding shoot or headshot session, which they've been putting off for ages because they are self-conscious and hate seeing themselves in their photos. I've been there, I get it, and I can handle their concerns sensitively and with kindness.
It's always a great ego boost when that same client talks about how much they enjoyed it and how much they love the photos!
Introverts can be incredibly brave and put themselves out there in ways that might surprise even those closest to them.
I remember my brother's shocked reaction many moons ago, when I told him that I was going to move abroad on my own to work in an international school in Thailand. I have now been a school teacher for nearly 20 years, and I established my own photography business. Many of my extroverted friends have said they couldn't do one or any of those three things because it's too intimidating. So, our quietness can often belie our steely determination to do something out of the ordinary.
My introversion means I am hyper-aware of how a client might be feeling.
I once worked with a client who seemed uncertain about something. I stopped the shoot, and he asked for a different type of look than the poses I was asking him to create. We eventually figured out what he was looking for and continued with the shoot. He was pleased that he could voice his concerns about his portraits with me because I created a sense of safety and trust with him.
We're really good at listening and taking in what the client is saying.
That is an obvious but often underrated skill in portrait photography. One of my clients praised my 'highly communicative approach, from booking through to delivering the photos.' Not only that, but she said that 'The photos themselves are perfect—they exceeded my expectations.' I don't think any of that would have happened without really working on what my client was looking for.
Perhaps all photographers do that in their own way, but it's easy to take that level of care for granted.
Our attention to detail is second to none!
Introverted people tend to notice if the slightest little detail is 'off' in our composition. We will often spend an inordinate amount of time working on it, either before or during the shoot, making sure it is how we and our clients want it to be.
We also have rich inner lives and vivid imaginations, which means we can view our clients in a different way than they might be used to being seen! I always have a million ideas for what I would like to do in my portrait photography, and I love making those ideas come to life with my clients and in my self-portraits.
I do think it's time we started to see this trait—whether we call it shyness, quietness, or introversion—as a strength!
Seema Miah
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